The Invisible Hand

Months of pain and discomfort have arrived at the diagnosis of gallstones. A laparoscopic cholecystectomy is scheduled for Wednesday. A surge of fear and anxiety consumed my heart when I was at the surgeon's office last Monday for the diagnosis and recommendations. Even though it is likely to be a minor surgery, I felt God was using it to further refine me and my faith that needed so much to be exercised.

I remembered a book Andy had on God's providence, and sure enough I found R. C. Sproul's "The Invisible Hand--Do All Things Really Work for Good" on the shelf. I'm going through it as a reminder of God's Providence in the midst of my light and momentary trials. Though the procedure, outcome, and side effects are unknown to me, God knows it all perfectly. And His purpose is wise and holy. The Word of the Lord comforts me in saying: "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father." (Matthew 10: 29)

I thank my God for my victory in Him through Jesus Christ. And I thank God for the assurance I find in His Word and not in man's words. There have been moments I desperately needed peace this past week and I praise the Lord for granting that to me each time I cried out to Him. I look forward to finishing this book during my recovery, and the opportunity of reading many more by John Piper that Andy has collected on his shelf.

His hand, though invisible, is near. Blessed be the name of the Lord!

From the Lips of Children

We've been going through the Foundation Verses with Caleb for a while now and he can recite up to about 20 verses with prompts here and there. I must admit how little "faith" I had when I first saw this pack that Andy ordered. I looked through it and thought to myself, "even I as an adult would have trouble reciting or memorizing these 76 verses."

Andy's been going through the verses with Caleb each night, and since we still have the baby monitor in Caleb's room, I actually get to eavesdrop on their nightly activity. It is a blessing for me to hear the verses recited as part of my own devotion too, being reminded of God's wonderful promises and character. I am amazed not because as a 2.5-year-old Caleb can memorize and articulate the words, but by God's enabling of the little heart and lips that are so evil and depraved to utter Biblical truth. I pray this will lay a foundation for him and that God will cause him to respond in faith one day.

"What You Feel Vs. What Is Real"

I was introduced recently to the Sovereign Grace Ministries, and have purchased, in addition to a couple of music CDs, what is known as the little orange book--"The Cross Centered Life" by C. J. Mahaney--as a starter. I was reading the chapter "What You Feel Vs. What Is Real--Basing Your Faith in Christ's Finished Work at the Cross" and it spoke to me personally.

An excerpt from the chapter:

We can either listen to ourselves and our constantly changing feelings about our circumstances, or we can talk to ourselves about the unchanging truth of who God is and what He's accomplished for us at the cross.

Far too often we choose to passively listen to ourselves. We sit back and let our view of God and life be shaped by our constantly shifting feelings about our everchanging circumstances. Life is busy. Often hard. Full of distractions.

...our emotions shouldn't be vested with final authority. This should be reserved for God's Word alone.

I find myself being described by C. J. Mahaney in this chapter as I far too often find my feelings speaking louder than God's promises, especially during times of physical weakness. I've been having some stomach ailments for a while and am going through some tests ordered by the doctor. I pray that despite the physical pain that I am feeling, God grants me the ability to "live in the good of what is true and unchanging--God's grace to me through the cross." And then I shall know the pain too has been for His glory.

Go on up, you baldhead!--by Andy

2 Kings 2:23-25 is one of my favorite passages in the Bible, and those who have seen me would understand why (or you can just look at the picture and you would know). The first time I ran across this passage, besides my natural affinity toward the story, two things came to mind: 1) It was weird that something like that was recorded in the Bible (for what purpose?), and 2) Why did a prophet of God cause such senseless killing of 42 innocent kids? (worse than modern day road rage). Well, I got the first question cleared while taking a class on hermeneutics and having to write a paper on it a few years back, but I am still chewing on the second one.

As I have been going through the book 2 Kings, I've come to find the prophet Elisha more and more interesting (maybe I should do a post on this), but I have also found lots of murders and killings recorded in the book. For example, I've just read 19:35, where the author said that "the angel of the LORD went out and put to death a hundred and eighty-five thousand men in the Assyrian camp." And it all happened in just one night! That's a lot of people killed, in light of how much our nation, and the world, has been mourning over the deaths caused by recent events like 9/11, the tsunami, Katrina, and the Iraq war. Many religious people including Christian pastors have done their duty to "defend" God and clear him of any responsibility in the deaths of these recent events, but how would they explain why God sent two bears to maul 42 kids just because they made fun of the bald prophet and wiped out 185 thousand men just because they were enemies of his chosen people Israel? Unlike the recent events, these two passages left no doubt as to who was responsible for those deaths.

More and more chewing seems to lead me to the same conclusion that Job expressed, "The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised." (Job 1:21) Or James said it in another way, "What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." (James 4:14) We usually hear religious people say that "life is precious" as if every life deserves to be living and respected. Either God didn't hold the same view or He had a very soft spot for baldies. If He could do that to 42 kids, imagine what else He could do. God caused millions of deaths in the Bible, and boldly claimed responsibility for them (I think He even drowned the whole earth once). He needs no defenders. Job and his friends learned that lesson, and Job said of God in the end, "I know that you can do all things...Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know...Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes." (Job 42:2-6) I've done much worse than those kids, and the Assyrians, why am I still alive? God loves baldies? Such grace and mercies, too wonderful for me to ever know. Maybe I should be chewing on that instead?!