Easter Message

Yesterday, Pastor Ken preached from Hebrews 13:20-21 for his Easter message. The week before he had mentioned that it was going to be an evangelistic message and for us to invite unbelieving friends. I had completely forgotten about this until after the worship service yesterday, at which point I realized there was nothing about his delivery that was different from all his other ones. This was not because all his other sermons were also "evangelistic" but because he didn't package the gospel message any different than when he preached from other passages in the bible. In fact, the gospel was always preached in every single sermon of his.

Another fact that came to mind was that I actually did bring with me (as far as I know) an unbeliever. And that is my four-year-old. And I am grateful to God for the whole gospel that is preached every Sunday. No cute little re-packaging of the gospel to make it attractive in the world's view. Even if 90% of it goes way over Caleb's head just because of his age-related comprehension, I am grateful for the 10% of unmodified truth that he can understand.

This morning, as the song "He is Lord" from one of our children CD's was playing, Caleb looked at me when he heard the line "He is risen from the dead" and gave me an emphatic nod and a smile. I think he's gotten the Easter message down for as much as his little head can understand. "Christ the Lord is Risen Today, Alleluia!"--this is our hymn for the week.

The Nearness of God

Mom and brother have left for Hong Kong, which means readjusting to having control over my kitchen again--which is not a good thing when it comes to meal times! Cooking is really not my strength. But as the apostle Paul exhorts, I will gladly boast about my weaknesses, that Christ's power may rest upon me. Even in tasks that can get mundane such as preparing food for my family meal after meal, it is God's workings and His grace.

As for my chronic ailments, I have gone to different doctors to seek treatments this past year and have gone through even acupuncture recently, but I know my hope is not in any doctors or medications (or good health or a child who does not whine and fuss or a good marriage and so on), but in my Creator and King who has a totally different theology in suffering than this world does.

I grew up seeing suffering (troubles/difficulties/trials) as something unwanted. Even Christians who say in the midst of suffering that God has a purpose in it do not in actuality believe that suffering is something to be desired. I often have a hard time dealing with suffering because I view myself more highly than I should. C. J. Mahaney is known to give the answer "Better than I deserve" each time he's asked how he is doing. I try to learn from his example, yet Andy has often challenged me in how sincere I am in my answer, and whether I actually believe what I am saying. I find the phrase "I wish..." coming from my mouth often times, and I quickly catch myself as contending with God when I do that. Andy reminds me that any moment I am not experiencing excruciating pain, I am doing much better than I deserve. Yes, I deserve eternal condemnation, yet in Christ there is now no condemnation for me (Romans 8:1)! John Piper once said even if we suffer every single day of our life for 80 years, God does not owe us anything, and the glory we receive in heaven for many many 80 years far outweighs the suffering. "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." (2 Corinthians 4:17) Indeed, my suffering is light compared to many others' and ultimately my Lord's. And my troubles are momentary, for in the twinkling of an eye, I shall see Him in glory.

Through John Piper's teaching, and sermons that I've heard Sunday after Sunday from Pastor Rick at Berean and Pastor Ken at Lighthouse, I have been blessed with a cross-centered view of suffering and am learning to embrace it rather than shrink from it, which is very counter-human, and hence I am in need of total dependence on God's grace.

Suffering can do much good as any Christian can probably tell me, like developing perseverence (James 1:2-3), helping in comforting others in the same situation (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) etc. But ultimately, it is in God's glory and His nearness that my suffering finds its worth. God's own word speaks for itself:

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. (2 Corinthians 1:9)

Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. (Romans 8:17)

But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds. (Psalm 73:28)

Indeed, in all of this, the nearness of God is my good. And He has sovereignly made it so.

Free gift

The broadcast on Desiring God Radio these past few days has been entitled "The Free Gift of God is Eternal Life" on Romans 6:23 which says in ESV: "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." I realized the word "free" is not in the NIV. Though I know that's usually what a gift is--something free. But I am reminded once again that there is absolutely nothing we can do to earn or deserve this gift of God. It is absolutely free. It is all by the substitutionary sacrifice of our Lord Jesus Christ for OUR sins.

This Thanksgiving, above all things, we as a family want to give thanks to our God for this free gift. Caleb has learned this past year to say prayers. Whenever we gather to pray, he calls it a "prayer meeting." What joyful opportunity it is to give thanks to God and to teach a three-year-old for what he is ultimately giving thanks.

Though the fig tree does not bud...

No breakthrough with my chronic stomach ailments--some of you may want to know. But this is good--to keep me from becoming conceited, as Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, and to once again put in perspective what the prophet Habukkak says:

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the
vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no
food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the
stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my
Savior.

How does one do that?? All by the grace of God, and recognizing that "in this life, our suffering is never as great or as serious as our sins.... it will always be less than what we have deserved for our sins." (Humility: True Greatness, C. J. Mahaney) Blessed be the name of the Lord!

My Pride As Well

What a blessing it is to be able to be ministered to even in front of my computer in this day and age. Mark Dever's post on Pride as Impatience reminds me that impatience has also become my pride's disguise often. Spending almost all my waking hours with Caleb does uncover much of my impatience (pride), especially when he keeps asking questions after questions or wants to play games in which I have no interests.

Mark shares:

I further confess as I have meditated on it, it becomes clear to me that this is not a nice, junior kind of sin (at least not in me). It is a disguise for the sin of pride, the ugliest of all sins, and the most direct rejection of God's authority and of a humble joy in His provision for me in the Gospel of Jesus Christ... My tendency is to be patient in situations I like. And that's no patience! Patience is endurance through things that challenge us, and it is rooted in humility, as surely as my impatience is rooted in pride.

Indeed, I often consider MY agenda more than I do others' and God's. My mind is preoccupied often with what interests ME and as a result I brush even my own son off. I've been given so much more than I deserve. Yes, I deserve Hell, yet I have gained Christ out of God's infinite mercy. And my son wants to play a game with me. I need to pray for a humble reception of God's authority in my life and "a humble joy in His provision for me in the Gospel of Jesus Christ."

Power of the Word

Caleb is at an age where he wants to exert strong independence yet does not have the maturity to handle his desires and emotions. There are times he would get into a frenzy or burst into crying and whining when he does not get what he wants or cannot get what he wants done. Of course, the bottom of this is he's a sinner. One day, while he threw a fit for not being able to do something he was fixed on doing, I remembered one of the Foundation Verses he'd been reciting: "You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below." Exodus 20:4 I prompted him with the first part of the verse and he completed the rest in a progressively calm manner. I then explained to him that he had made that something and his desire an idol and that our happiness is found only in God. Ever since, we've been able to use this verse to explain to him the different forms of idols we make in our lives, and apply an increasing number of the 76+ verses that he has learned from the pack.

"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness." 2 Timothy 3:16 God's grace has enabled me to see and apply this truth even with a 3-year-old. And it is a sober reminder for myself as well that I am a sinner desperately in need of the daily sanctifying power of His Word.

Self-Esteem?

A friend recommended Susan Hunt's My ABC Bible Verses. I've been reading it with Caleb and would highly recommend it as well. One thing I prize in this book is that each lesson focuses on the work of the Holy Spirit, and any good done by the children characters in the book is attributed to the grace of God, never the child himself. Very God-centered.

We also have a devotional book for children (Blessings Every Day: 365 Simple Devotions for the Very Young) that Andy casually picked up years ago at a book sale at work. I was reading through it with Caleb the other day and came across one devotion (which is representative of the other ones) containing these lines:

But when God looks at you, he sees everything about you, like how friendly or smart or kind you are. Most of all, God sees that wonderful person he made. And that's what he loves most.

And a little saying in the bottom:

God sees inside me, he sees in my heart. To him I am wonderful, lovely, and smart!

I almost choked reading it, though I know I probably would not have seen anything wrong with it years ago. Our exodus from "modern evangelicalism" was God's blessing.

So often in today's evangelical world, we are taught to hold high self-esteem. I was even taught in the first lesson of a discipleship class years ago that it was important for me to have high self-esteem. God was not taken out of the picture. I was to have good self-esteem because God loves me and sent Jesus Christ to die for me. It sounded good to me. And it is true God loves me, but it is not the whole truth! To fail to see and admit the total depravity in us and the wrath of God that we deserve in the first place is nothing near Truth; God's love is cheapened and misconstrued. When God looks in my heart, no, he does not see how lovely and smart I am, but how sinful and foolish. If there is anything good, it is by the grace of God because of the cross of Christ and His righteousness alone.

Andy reminds me often to not tell Caleb that I am proud of him (and to not even think that of him). Let him who boasts boast in the Lord (1 Cor. 1:30-31). May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ (Gal. 6:14). Anything that Caleb can do well in, we humbly embrace it as by the grace of God. And we tell him the same.

As I learnt from John Piper, it is not self-esteem we need, but Christ-esteem. Pray that not only do I say it but live it as well.

Submission (1): "No TV?"

Caleb and I visited a sister friend of mine the other day. She's single but unavailable, and we touched on the topic of submission as she's preparing herself to enter into marriage with this biblical mandate (The Lord bless her!). One question she asked me was, "Have you ever submitted to Andy on something that you didn't agree with him on?" It was a tricky question to answer since to submit to my husband would entail doing that something that I don't agree with him on in the first place. If I had agreed with him, then it would not call for submission. But as I thought on, Andy has never asked me to do something that was unbiblical, and so I told my friend no, not so much something that I didn't agree with him on, but more like something I didn't prefer at the time. Later, the topic of watching TV came up in our discussion and I used it as an example for this earlier topic...

The Dao home has not heard the sound of a TV for over two years now, and we are grateful for the blessings that the Lord brings as a result of it (I'll save these for another post). As a mother of a one-year-old at the time, having to be home alone with a little one all day, and having been raised in a culture where the TV set was an indispensable item in the household, I was not the most thrilled when Andy shared his conviction with me. "You mean not even the news for me, or the Berenstain Bears for Caleb?" I exclaimed. But trusting that the Lord has, in His infinite wisdom and love, placed Andy as the leader of this home, I submitted to Andy and asked God for strength and wisdom for my days.

This post is not about the good and bad of TV (or of the use of TV). Enough has been said. A friend has made some worthy comments in her post. And the four-volume series of David Wells is an excellent read according to Andy on how modernity has shaped our history, society, culture, and church! This Part-1 blog entry is just the first of many reflections I hope to share on the topic as I am learning it by the grace of God.

Daily grind?

It was refreshing reading Mark Dever's post "Again, for now" and being reminded again of God's purpose in my daily grind. Mark wrote:

Reflecting on my own life, and my own congregation, I am reminded that I'm always in need of learning the same things again. Just as meals in a family are patiently prepared again, and clothes are washed again, and children are corrected again, and spouses ask forgiveness or enjoy one another again, or God forgives us again, so we in our daily lives are called to do much that we do again.

I am encouraged as well by what Martin Luther said, as Mark quoted:

...All does not yet gleam in glory but all is being purified.

Thank you Lord for the hope we have in Your glory (Romans 5:2).

What am I?

Mark Dever asked, "What is CJ?" and two weeks later, this was what CJ Mahaney wrote:

What am I? Well, here is what I am. I am the worst sinner I know. And by the grace of God I am doing better than I deserve. For I deserve the righteous wrath of God because of my sin. I deserve to be punished eternally. But in the mystery of His mercy, God sacrificed and crushed His Son on the Cross--as my substitute--so that I might be forgiven of my sin and know God as my Father rather than my Judge. What am I? I am truly amazed by the grace of God. That’s what I am.

Regretfully, I think I share in CJ's two bad traits. One his baldness, and two his being the worst sinner he knows. He then went on to say:

Of much lesser importance, I have the privilege to serve and lead Sovereign Grace Ministries in its mission to plant and support local churches. And I am especially blessed to be a member of Covenant Life Church, “the dearest place on earth."

Well, here is where I think I would say for myself if I were asked the same question, "Of much lesser importance, I am what most people around me think I am." I think it'd be good for me to hang around people who can treat me as I truly am because it would greatly help remind me of what I truly am--the worst sinner I know.

Everyone did as he saw fit

Last week during an ultrasound exam, I had a conversation with the technician on the topic of homeschooling. He made a few comments in regard to public schools nowadays. He said one is supposed to go to school to learn, but the schools nowadays are "totally screwed up" in his own words.

On my way home from the exam, I was listening to the radio and there so happened to be a special news report on what is known as "Backyard Wrestling" where teenagers would gather in someone's backyard and stage wrestling matches by whacking keyboards, fluorescent tubes, and the like on each other, and even set fire on themselves, all obviously without any adult supervision. One of the teenagers being interviewed said he does it because he's not good at any sports and this is one way for him to find friends. A mother who was being interviewed actually said her teenage son was paralyzed recently from being involved in Backyard Wrestling.

It was heart-wrenching hearing the stories and to be thinking about the state of today's schools and teenage world. I was reading the book of Judges in my devotion last week and when I came to the recurring verses which say, "In those days Israel had no king; everyone did as he saw fit," I was soberly being reminded of my responsibility as a Christian parent in bringing up my child in the instruction and admonition of the Lord. Left to himself, my child's heart tends only towards evil. Without the Lord as his King, he would do as he sees fit. The same goes with my own sinful heart. Lord have mercy!

"What You Feel Vs. What Is Real"

I was introduced recently to the Sovereign Grace Ministries, and have purchased, in addition to a couple of music CDs, what is known as the little orange book--"The Cross Centered Life" by C. J. Mahaney--as a starter. I was reading the chapter "What You Feel Vs. What Is Real--Basing Your Faith in Christ's Finished Work at the Cross" and it spoke to me personally.

An excerpt from the chapter:

We can either listen to ourselves and our constantly changing feelings about our circumstances, or we can talk to ourselves about the unchanging truth of who God is and what He's accomplished for us at the cross.

Far too often we choose to passively listen to ourselves. We sit back and let our view of God and life be shaped by our constantly shifting feelings about our everchanging circumstances. Life is busy. Often hard. Full of distractions.

...our emotions shouldn't be vested with final authority. This should be reserved for God's Word alone.

I find myself being described by C. J. Mahaney in this chapter as I far too often find my feelings speaking louder than God's promises, especially during times of physical weakness. I've been having some stomach ailments for a while and am going through some tests ordered by the doctor. I pray that despite the physical pain that I am feeling, God grants me the ability to "live in the good of what is true and unchanging--God's grace to me through the cross." And then I shall know the pain too has been for His glory.

Adopted by the King

While in Hong Kong, we actually met up with our friends from the US who happened to be on their way to pick up their adopted daughter from China. On the way back to their hotel from dinner, I asked this sister if she had prepared something special to give the baby girl when they meet her. Her response was that they were so busy with paperwork and preparing to travel with two toddlers of their own on this trip, she had barely the time to pack the day before. That evening, as I was reflecting on our conversation, it dawned on me that this sister had already given the baby girl the greatest gift of adoption. As I am reminded in Ephesians 1:4-6: In love, God predestined us to be adopted as His sons and daughters in accordance with His pleasure and will. I, unworthy as I am, have been adopted by the King. What glorious gift!

Post-Trip Reflections

We've actually been back from Hong Kong for over a month now but with a toddler, schedules take a while to get back to a routine. So I finally got the opportunity to sit down and reflect on our trip and the things for which we want to thank the Lord:

• God was merciful to us in granting pleasant flights to and from Hong Kong. Though we dreaded the 14-hour flight with a toddler who had never flown, Caleb did exceptionally well, enjoying the meals and everything new to him on the plane.
• Caleb was potty trained a month prior to the trip so we didn't have to stink up my parents' flat or deal with having to change him out in the public. God's gracious to us...
• Meeting up with old friends and classmates and relatives was a blessing. It always makes me nostalgic...
• With only two weeks on hand, we scrambled to purchase a computer and necessary accessories for my parents and got broadband internet service set up for them before we left. We now can email, talk with, and see each other on the internet. What a blessing!
• Though we suffered from jetlag pretty much throughout the two weeks and Caleb did catch a cold for a few days, we are grateful that Andy and I stayed well, except for some stomach ailments, and the Lord sustained us all throughout by His grace.
• Last of all, God granted me a big helper--one who had to rush with Caleb in search for the men's room each time Caleb cried "Need to go pee pee," the IT person plus system administrator for my parents, my voice-activated portable stroller, and much more...

How Deep His Love--by Andy

I got to finish the few last chapters of 1 Kings this morning, and I was touched by the great lengths that God went through to bring His people back to Him. In my last blog on the story of Elijah on Mount Carmel, God showed Himself as LORD to win the hearts of His people through the dramatic confrontation between Elijah and the 450 prophets of Baal. The people who witnessed it fell prostrate and cried, "The LORD--he is God! The LORD--he is God!" Then they had the 450 prophets seized and slaughtered. King Ahab was also present, but there was no mention of his repenting heart. The last few chapters of the book records mainly how God then continued to deal with King Ahab.

Chapter 20 recounted how God used two invasions by King Ben-Hadad of Aram to show Ahab again that He was the LORD God (v13, v28). God delivered the Arameans and King Ben-Hadad into Ahab's hands in battles where there were just 7000 Israelites against the vast army of over a hundred thousand of Arameans. Verse 27 says, "The Israelites camped opposite them like two small flocks of goats, while the Arameans covered the countryside." King Ahab remained disobedient to God inspite of this. Then God sent a prophet to tell Ahab how He will punish him for his disobedience. Chapter 21 told a story where Ahab wickedly killed a man to take his vineyard and the kind of death Ahab was prophesied to have because of his wicked act. Finally in chapter 22, God brought about a battle between Ahab and the Arameans in which, even though the Aramean army had already been severely weakened in the last two encounters with the Israelites, He not only caused the Israelites to lose but also King Ahab to die exactly the way it was prophesied. Throughout these three chapters, it was so amazing for me to see the sovereign and gracious hand of God involved in the smallest little details in how He dealt with King Ahab. God even put lying spirits in the mouths of all of Ahab's prophets to entice him into going to war with the Arameans (v23). He also caused the king of Aram to hunt only for Ahab in the battle (v31), and, even though Ahab disguised himself, he was fatally shot by a "random" arrow "between the sections of his armor." (v34). In these chapters, the author of the book clearly wanted to send me the message that God is LORD in how He sovereignly orchestrated the life and death of Ahab.

I also, however, saw in these chapters the depth of God's love toward His people. He went through great lengths to warn the prophets of Baal and king Ahab, the two governing offices that He used to guide His people. He planned the death of Ahab in such a miraculous way that the people would know that He is LORD, so that they would fear Him and return to Him. All of this reminded me again of God's ultimate plan, his salvation plan, where He orchestrated the death of His own Son Jesus such that He may turn my heart to Him. I pray that I might feel grateful and humbled by such deep love upon such a wicked sinner like me. Who is like the LORD our God?

Reading Companion

A couple months ago, upon the recommendation of a sister on a devotional guide plus daily bible reading schedule, Andy ordered the 2-volume devotional companion by D. A. Carson as a birthday present for me. I've started using it for a couple of months now and have been enjoying it. I would recommend it as well to anyone who is serious about reading the bible on a daily basis with a companion that is bible-based rather than cliche-like, fluffy, or overly applicational. I had been following another bible reading schedule without a guide prior to this one, and my other flowery devotional guides are just collecting dust on the shelf. I am thankful that I was introduced to this classic reading companion to help me read the bible systematically.

As this sister pointed out, the author says:

If you must skip something, skip this book; read the Bible instead.

That is what I have been doing during this two-week trip in Hong Kong since I did not bring along the thick devotional guide. Though we have been here for over a week already, I'm still suffering from jet lag, waking up sometimes at 4 in the morning. So I would find myself reading during the wee hours. I thank the Lord for the sweetness in His Word and pray for a continued yearning for the jewels that lie within.

"Because?"

As a 2-year-old, Caleb's been asking a lot of "why" sort of questions. He would usually utter "Because?" after we tell him something.

We've been going through the foundation verses with him and he has learned to recite quite a few. Today, as he and I were reciting Psalm 1:6 together, after the last phrase: "the way of the wicked will perish" he again said to me "Because?" I thought I could offer him a simple answer, but I ended up saying, "You will have to ask daddy tonight," which has been my favorite response lately to this new inquisitor in our house.

Even though the responsibility seemed to have shifted off my shoulder, I was somehow moved to think about the verse on a deeper level. During Caleb's nap time, I started looking up the verse and meditating on it. And as I studied it, I realized while the NIV version says "The LORD watches over the way of the righteous," the phrase "watches over" comes from the verb "know" which expresses an intimate knowledge with love and concern. He knows intimately those who belong to Him, while those who do not belong to Him end in destruction (separation from God and hence His intimate knowledge and care).

Although I may not have fully comprehended all aspects of the verse or passage, I thank the Lord for the blessing of Caleb's simple question "Because?" which has helped me behold a glimpse of the treasure in God's Word today. The Lord knows me deeply and intimately.