A Reward from God

Ever since we became parents, we've been often reminded by friends and relatives of the fact that children are a blessing from the Lord and we are to enjoy them. If you know Andy and me, you'd quickly say this couple doesn't readily exemplify the truth of Psalm 127:3-5. Our quiver has a lone arrow and as Andy would say, it is already killing us! As much as we'd like to give the excuses of having a child at an older age and just not having that kid-loving personalities, the ultimate reason for our lack of "joy" is our fallenness.

Those who've met Caleb would often say "What a great kid!" and would have a hard time understanding why we "complain" so much. But the truth of the matter is, Caleb is just another sinner, the reality of which is only manifesting itself more each day as he grows. And his parents are no less one who has fall short of the glory of God. Raising a child has thus far been the biggest challenge and struggle for both of us. Our need for patience and trust is as big as Caleb's need to know his Savior. As Andy was sharing on this topic with our Pastor at his home last Saturday, they have both arrived at the conclusion that children are indeed a gift from God, yet this gift or reward or blessing should not be confused with one the world understands as a gift. We can testify that our reward so far has been one of being broken, molded, and refined for the sole purpose of becoming more Christ-like. God is breaking us for His glory. That is our reward.

My Pride As Well

What a blessing it is to be able to be ministered to even in front of my computer in this day and age. Mark Dever's post on Pride as Impatience reminds me that impatience has also become my pride's disguise often. Spending almost all my waking hours with Caleb does uncover much of my impatience (pride), especially when he keeps asking questions after questions or wants to play games in which I have no interests.

Mark shares:

I further confess as I have meditated on it, it becomes clear to me that this is not a nice, junior kind of sin (at least not in me). It is a disguise for the sin of pride, the ugliest of all sins, and the most direct rejection of God's authority and of a humble joy in His provision for me in the Gospel of Jesus Christ... My tendency is to be patient in situations I like. And that's no patience! Patience is endurance through things that challenge us, and it is rooted in humility, as surely as my impatience is rooted in pride.

Indeed, I often consider MY agenda more than I do others' and God's. My mind is preoccupied often with what interests ME and as a result I brush even my own son off. I've been given so much more than I deserve. Yes, I deserve Hell, yet I have gained Christ out of God's infinite mercy. And my son wants to play a game with me. I need to pray for a humble reception of God's authority in my life and "a humble joy in His provision for me in the Gospel of Jesus Christ."

Power of the Word

Caleb is at an age where he wants to exert strong independence yet does not have the maturity to handle his desires and emotions. There are times he would get into a frenzy or burst into crying and whining when he does not get what he wants or cannot get what he wants done. Of course, the bottom of this is he's a sinner. One day, while he threw a fit for not being able to do something he was fixed on doing, I remembered one of the Foundation Verses he'd been reciting: "You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below." Exodus 20:4 I prompted him with the first part of the verse and he completed the rest in a progressively calm manner. I then explained to him that he had made that something and his desire an idol and that our happiness is found only in God. Ever since, we've been able to use this verse to explain to him the different forms of idols we make in our lives, and apply an increasing number of the 76+ verses that he has learned from the pack.

"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness." 2 Timothy 3:16 God's grace has enabled me to see and apply this truth even with a 3-year-old. And it is a sober reminder for myself as well that I am a sinner desperately in need of the daily sanctifying power of His Word.

Biblical counsel for my child

Last week Caleb had a playdate at his friend's place. At one point of the gathering, both of them wanted to have this stuffed animal. And it was one of those little "disputes" where the mothers have to intervene. In the end, his friend was able to share the toy with Caleb. I then said to his friend, "It feels good to share, right?" And the mother said to her, "It wasn't too hard to share, was it?" Both of us were trying to encourage the behavior of sharing. And I didn't think much of it afterwards.

Last night as I was re-reading Shepherding a child's heart, on being biblical in the counseling of our children, the incident came back to mind. I realized neither comment made by the two mothers was necessarily biblical. Ultimately, the child shares because it is pleasing and honoring to God, not because it makes him or her feel good, nor is it because it is not hard to do. The former comment renders the child self- rather than cross-centered. The latter comment leads to a focus on merit rather than on grace. In fact, it was the worst thing for me to tell a child that he should do something because it feels good to do it. And without realizing that even the ability to share is the grace of God is to deny our total depravity.

It seemed a small incident. But I am grateful for the Spirit's conviction that this is where I start with a life-long biblical counsel for my child, molding his heart, not his behavior, because of the cross.

Dinner Prep

It has been two weeks since I started with a more structured homeschooling daily routine with Caleb. God has been gracious to us and Caleb has not lost his interest yet in this new adventure. Another of our activities is "Dinner Prep" during which time we prepare dinner together. Since he's only 3-1/2, he obviously cannot use the knife or stove (or at least the way it is intended to be used for cooking). So what I have him do these days is washing vegetables and fruits for me. And at dinner time, he would point at the vegetables and tell Andy, "Daddy, I washed the Gai-Lan [or bitter melon or cilantro or whatever veggie is in the dish]."

Though I enjoy Caleb's helpful spirit (or part water-playfulness), I pray that we are, more importantly, instilling in him a servant attitude that he will own one day only because of the Gospel.

"Because?"

As a 2-year-old, Caleb's been asking a lot of "why" sort of questions. He would usually utter "Because?" after we tell him something.

We've been going through the foundation verses with him and he has learned to recite quite a few. Today, as he and I were reciting Psalm 1:6 together, after the last phrase: "the way of the wicked will perish" he again said to me "Because?" I thought I could offer him a simple answer, but I ended up saying, "You will have to ask daddy tonight," which has been my favorite response lately to this new inquisitor in our house.

Even though the responsibility seemed to have shifted off my shoulder, I was somehow moved to think about the verse on a deeper level. During Caleb's nap time, I started looking up the verse and meditating on it. And as I studied it, I realized while the NIV version says "The LORD watches over the way of the righteous," the phrase "watches over" comes from the verb "know" which expresses an intimate knowledge with love and concern. He knows intimately those who belong to Him, while those who do not belong to Him end in destruction (separation from God and hence His intimate knowledge and care).

Although I may not have fully comprehended all aspects of the verse or passage, I thank the Lord for the blessing of Caleb's simple question "Because?" which has helped me behold a glimpse of the treasure in God's Word today. The Lord knows me deeply and intimately.