Submission (1): "No TV?"

Caleb and I visited a sister friend of mine the other day. She's single but unavailable, and we touched on the topic of submission as she's preparing herself to enter into marriage with this biblical mandate (The Lord bless her!). One question she asked me was, "Have you ever submitted to Andy on something that you didn't agree with him on?" It was a tricky question to answer since to submit to my husband would entail doing that something that I don't agree with him on in the first place. If I had agreed with him, then it would not call for submission. But as I thought on, Andy has never asked me to do something that was unbiblical, and so I told my friend no, not so much something that I didn't agree with him on, but more like something I didn't prefer at the time. Later, the topic of watching TV came up in our discussion and I used it as an example for this earlier topic...

The Dao home has not heard the sound of a TV for over two years now, and we are grateful for the blessings that the Lord brings as a result of it (I'll save these for another post). As a mother of a one-year-old at the time, having to be home alone with a little one all day, and having been raised in a culture where the TV set was an indispensable item in the household, I was not the most thrilled when Andy shared his conviction with me. "You mean not even the news for me, or the Berenstain Bears for Caleb?" I exclaimed. But trusting that the Lord has, in His infinite wisdom and love, placed Andy as the leader of this home, I submitted to Andy and asked God for strength and wisdom for my days.

This post is not about the good and bad of TV (or of the use of TV). Enough has been said. A friend has made some worthy comments in her post. And the four-volume series of David Wells is an excellent read according to Andy on how modernity has shaped our history, society, culture, and church! This Part-1 blog entry is just the first of many reflections I hope to share on the topic as I am learning it by the grace of God.

Daily grind?

It was refreshing reading Mark Dever's post "Again, for now" and being reminded again of God's purpose in my daily grind. Mark wrote:

Reflecting on my own life, and my own congregation, I am reminded that I'm always in need of learning the same things again. Just as meals in a family are patiently prepared again, and clothes are washed again, and children are corrected again, and spouses ask forgiveness or enjoy one another again, or God forgives us again, so we in our daily lives are called to do much that we do again.

I am encouraged as well by what Martin Luther said, as Mark quoted:

...All does not yet gleam in glory but all is being purified.

Thank you Lord for the hope we have in Your glory (Romans 5:2).

What am I?

Mark Dever asked, "What is CJ?" and two weeks later, this was what CJ Mahaney wrote:

What am I? Well, here is what I am. I am the worst sinner I know. And by the grace of God I am doing better than I deserve. For I deserve the righteous wrath of God because of my sin. I deserve to be punished eternally. But in the mystery of His mercy, God sacrificed and crushed His Son on the Cross--as my substitute--so that I might be forgiven of my sin and know God as my Father rather than my Judge. What am I? I am truly amazed by the grace of God. That’s what I am.

Regretfully, I think I share in CJ's two bad traits. One his baldness, and two his being the worst sinner he knows. He then went on to say:

Of much lesser importance, I have the privilege to serve and lead Sovereign Grace Ministries in its mission to plant and support local churches. And I am especially blessed to be a member of Covenant Life Church, “the dearest place on earth."

Well, here is where I think I would say for myself if I were asked the same question, "Of much lesser importance, I am what most people around me think I am." I think it'd be good for me to hang around people who can treat me as I truly am because it would greatly help remind me of what I truly am--the worst sinner I know.

Biblical counsel for my child

Last week Caleb had a playdate at his friend's place. At one point of the gathering, both of them wanted to have this stuffed animal. And it was one of those little "disputes" where the mothers have to intervene. In the end, his friend was able to share the toy with Caleb. I then said to his friend, "It feels good to share, right?" And the mother said to her, "It wasn't too hard to share, was it?" Both of us were trying to encourage the behavior of sharing. And I didn't think much of it afterwards.

Last night as I was re-reading Shepherding a child's heart, on being biblical in the counseling of our children, the incident came back to mind. I realized neither comment made by the two mothers was necessarily biblical. Ultimately, the child shares because it is pleasing and honoring to God, not because it makes him or her feel good, nor is it because it is not hard to do. The former comment renders the child self- rather than cross-centered. The latter comment leads to a focus on merit rather than on grace. In fact, it was the worst thing for me to tell a child that he should do something because it feels good to do it. And without realizing that even the ability to share is the grace of God is to deny our total depravity.

It seemed a small incident. But I am grateful for the Spirit's conviction that this is where I start with a life-long biblical counsel for my child, molding his heart, not his behavior, because of the cross.

Everyone did as he saw fit

Last week during an ultrasound exam, I had a conversation with the technician on the topic of homeschooling. He made a few comments in regard to public schools nowadays. He said one is supposed to go to school to learn, but the schools nowadays are "totally screwed up" in his own words.

On my way home from the exam, I was listening to the radio and there so happened to be a special news report on what is known as "Backyard Wrestling" where teenagers would gather in someone's backyard and stage wrestling matches by whacking keyboards, fluorescent tubes, and the like on each other, and even set fire on themselves, all obviously without any adult supervision. One of the teenagers being interviewed said he does it because he's not good at any sports and this is one way for him to find friends. A mother who was being interviewed actually said her teenage son was paralyzed recently from being involved in Backyard Wrestling.

It was heart-wrenching hearing the stories and to be thinking about the state of today's schools and teenage world. I was reading the book of Judges in my devotion last week and when I came to the recurring verses which say, "In those days Israel had no king; everyone did as he saw fit," I was soberly being reminded of my responsibility as a Christian parent in bringing up my child in the instruction and admonition of the Lord. Left to himself, my child's heart tends only towards evil. Without the Lord as his King, he would do as he sees fit. The same goes with my own sinful heart. Lord have mercy!

Dinner Prep

It has been two weeks since I started with a more structured homeschooling daily routine with Caleb. God has been gracious to us and Caleb has not lost his interest yet in this new adventure. Another of our activities is "Dinner Prep" during which time we prepare dinner together. Since he's only 3-1/2, he obviously cannot use the knife or stove (or at least the way it is intended to be used for cooking). So what I have him do these days is washing vegetables and fruits for me. And at dinner time, he would point at the vegetables and tell Andy, "Daddy, I washed the Gai-Lan [or bitter melon or cilantro or whatever veggie is in the dish]."

Though I enjoy Caleb's helpful spirit (or part water-playfulness), I pray that we are, more importantly, instilling in him a servant attitude that he will own one day only because of the Gospel.

Today's Motherhood

The title of yesterday's program on The Albert Mohler Radio Program caught my attention and so I listened to it. (It was my first time listening to Al Mohler's show and boy, does he speak fast!) It was on "motherhood" and a discussion that started with an article written by a mother who claims motherhood to be boring her to death. Similar sentiments are expressed in today's world where too many mothers are finding their career more interesting, fulfilling, and necessary than being a stay-at-home mom. In my fallen nature, I can understand and identify with many of these sentiments. I grew up in an environment where many of my girlfriends are well-educated and have prestigous careers such as being doctors, lawyers, engineers, accountants etc. One time in a highschool reunion gathering, a girlfriend of mine commented to me in regard to homemaking, "You can actually cook?!" And another said, "I don't know how you do it." And all those who live in the Bay Area now and have children are working full-time with live-in nannies taking care of their children at home because they either find their career more attractive or cannot handle the stress and hardwork of child caring. So is today's motherhood. And I personally struggle with it as well because of my fallenness. But as I am reminded by what I heard from Al Mohler's program and God's Word, my decision to quit my job and be a full-time mom (though it is very hardwork for me and it means a sacrifice in the area of finance), is purely out of the conviction that it is God's calling for me as a wife and mother to take care of my husband and child for God's glory for as long as He enables and wills.

Everyone would agree that being a mother is no easy feat. Out of my fallen nature, I'd rather do the things I like than to play an unending silly game with my child. Without the restraining power of the Holy Spirit, I'd be screaming at a fussy or disobedient child instead of teaching him with kindness and gentleness. The list goes on with all the different roles a mother plays in the rearing of a child in the Lord. And I cannot live a single day of motherhood without relying on God's mercy and His grace.

The Triune God

Caleb loves it when "Mr. Ling" visits, as you can tell from the picture taken last night when Caleb stuffed as many of his toys as he could on Mike. At the end of the evening, when I told Caleb he needed to go take a shower and "Mr. Ling" needed to go home, he wanted Mike to stay longer and quickly said, "Mr. Ling will take a shower for Caleb." I told him that that was Daddy's job as Andy is the one who usually showers him in the evening. He then responded, "Caleb has three daddies." We wondered and asked him why three. And he answered, "God, Da... Andy, and Mr. Ling." Well, Mike didn't stay to take a shower for him, but we all got a good laugh at his concept of a "triune" God.