My Helplessness--by Andy

Yesterday, I found myself sitting in a Chinese-speaking church service in Hong Kong reading through John 6 while the pastor went on and on with something I later found out was just a story of some guy who lived a meaningless life. The story must have been captivating judging from the pastor's story-telling enthusiasm and the audience's attention, but since I couldn't understand a single word and had nothing else to put my mind to, I read and re-read John 6 until the service was over. During my reading, however, I occasionally looked up at the pastor and the congregation and wondered what the pastor was talking about. As I noticed that he was not preaching from the scripture passage and that the congregation was not reading from their bible, my thoughts wandered back to an often visited topic, that of the dreadful helplessness of the sinful state of man.

A verse in this chapter made me think. Right after Jesus gave the Jewish audience the bold claim, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty," He continued in verse 36, "But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe." In the past, I usually skipped over this little verse that was overshadowed by the big one right before it. This time, it caught my attention because it reminded me of something that a friend of mine, a gentle and humble person who grew up in a Christian family, told me one time. I couldn't recall his exact words, but what I understood was that even if God were to stand in front of him, he would not believe and would turn and run the other way. This verse also reminded me of another person I know, whom I ran into just the day before, who is well acquainted with Christianity and yet does not believe the truthfulness of its claims. Is believing in Jesus a choice for them, and they chose to reject? Is deciding for Jesus within their capabilities?

Before I became a believer, I used to think that if God were to show Himself right in front of me, that would have been enough convincing for me to become a Christian. Then after I became one, I was taught to believe that salvation was just a choice and I had the power to choose. God was standing on one side and Evolution the other, both with their arms open, and all I had to do was to pick one. And I made the final wise choice and picked the one that would give my life meaning and eventually usher me into heaven. This verse 6:36, however, made me realize that I am as helpless as my two friends, as well as the Jewish audience two thousand years ago, when it comes to choosing to believe. Were the choice up to me, I think I would also run the other way if God were to show Himself in front of me. Or even worse, I might just spit in His face and throw a few cuss words at Him before I run away in spite and protest.

The Jews in Jesus's audience believed in Moses who gave their forefathers manna in the desert. And being also decendents of father Abraham, they thought they were in with God. They thought salvation was just a choice they could make on their own by observing the Mosaic law. But Jesus showed up and told them that He came down from heaven to be the real bread for only those whom the Father has enabled (v65), has chosen (v70),has drawn to Himself (v44), and has given to His son (v37), so that they who eat of this bread will receive salvation. Those who did not believe were offended at His claim to be the bread of life. Jesus then told those who were offended, "This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless the Father has enabled him." I realized only recently that I came to Jesus only because God has already enabled me and drawn me to Himself.

I feel so helpless when I think about the fact that even the smallest little act, the act of believing, was impossible for me to do on my own. If I could not perform such a simple mental act, how would I ever be able to claim as my own any other worthy acts in life, whether mental or physical? I thank God for saving me when I could not, and I pray that Jesus lives in me and works through me as I live.

"My First Flight"

Here's Caleb enjoying breakfast on his first flight, a 14-hour flight aboard Singapore Air for Hong Kong.

Turning Their Hearts Back Again--by Andy

I was reading 1 Kings 18 today, the chapter on the well known story about the confrontation between Elijah, a prophet of God, and the 450 prophets of Baal on mount Carmel in front of a large audience of Israelites, including Israel King Ahab. The story has been one of my favorites and I have always enjoyed reading it. Each time, I would try to picture the scenes as the plot unfolds, and the ending would always leave me with a good feeling as if I was part of the winning team in a great battle between good and evil.

What caught my attention this time, however, was Elijah's little prayer as it came to his turn to call on his God. I don't know Elijah's exact prayer up there on top of Mount Carmel, but what the author recorded in verses 36 and 37 was, "O LORD, God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, let it be known today that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant and have done all these things at your command. Answer me, O LORD, answer me, so these people will know that you, O LORD, are God, and that you are turning their hearts back again." What specifically touched me was the part about God turning hearts. It then dawned on me that the message of this whole action-packed heroic story may have been about God's wanting to turn the hearts of His people Israelites back to Him, away from the idols that they have been led to worship by king Ahab. As I was thinking these thoughts, the story about Elijah and the widow in the previous chapter 17 came back to mind. After having received miraculous provision of food for herself and her son and especially after the resurrection of her son, the widow said to Elijah, as recorded in verse 24, "Now I know that you are a man of God and that the word of the LORD from your mouth is the truth." This response, I thought, was similar to the response Elijah was asking for on Mount Carmel--a change of heart. God changed the widow's heart in the town of Zarephath, and He changed the Israelites' hearts on Mount Carmel. All of a sudden, my hero Elijah, and other characters in the story, began to fade into the background, and the true Hero began to emerge. What I had always thought a juicy battle between the good and bad prophets now became a merciful act of changing hearts by a kind and gracious God.

And a changed heart is what I truly and really need when I search deep within myself. I remember reading Jer 17:9 where it says, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" I am humbled by and grateful to the God who could see and understand my deceitful heart and yet chose to give me the cure for it. I thank Him for turning my heart back to Him and giving me a new life of faith in His Son Jesus Christ who died for me on Calvary.

"Because?"

As a 2-year-old, Caleb's been asking a lot of "why" sort of questions. He would usually utter "Because?" after we tell him something.

We've been going through the foundation verses with him and he has learned to recite quite a few. Today, as he and I were reciting Psalm 1:6 together, after the last phrase: "the way of the wicked will perish" he again said to me "Because?" I thought I could offer him a simple answer, but I ended up saying, "You will have to ask daddy tonight," which has been my favorite response lately to this new inquisitor in our house.

Even though the responsibility seemed to have shifted off my shoulder, I was somehow moved to think about the verse on a deeper level. During Caleb's nap time, I started looking up the verse and meditating on it. And as I studied it, I realized while the NIV version says "The LORD watches over the way of the righteous," the phrase "watches over" comes from the verb "know" which expresses an intimate knowledge with love and concern. He knows intimately those who belong to Him, while those who do not belong to Him end in destruction (separation from God and hence His intimate knowledge and care).

Although I may not have fully comprehended all aspects of the verse or passage, I thank the Lord for the blessing of Caleb's simple question "Because?" which has helped me behold a glimpse of the treasure in God's Word today. The Lord knows me deeply and intimately.

For His Glory--by Andy

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